A mild revival

I haven't written anything in a long time, although I've still been cooking a lot. I've been on a mission to try to cook something out of every cookbook I own. That's a lot of cookbooks. We're up to like 30 or something insane.
This is what I made from Dorie Greenspan's book, Baking: From My Home to Yours. I was supposed to make the Peppermint Cream Puff Ring, and as soon as I saw it I was afraid of it. I make a lot of food. I rarely focus on making the food look good.
But this time... this time it worked out.


Look how pretty it turned out! I should have toasted the almonds, I'll admit. A minor mistake. But it turned out well!
And I had so much extra dough (not to mention extra cream) that I made little.... dough-cream-bars.


And one cream puff.


I know scale doesn't really show here, but that cream puff was actually huge. I ate it all, and it was enormous. It was delicious though.
I've been going through these books for a while now. I've made Shrimp de Jonghe, Smothered Greens, Popovers, Duck Confit Tacos, Skate with Tomato and Olive Sauce... it's been interesting. The skate was a REALLY great adventure, it made me go adventure to a fish market and talk to people who had jobs I didn't know existed in order to get five pounds of fish. I still have a pound of it left, if anyone wants to tell me what else to do with it, I'm all ears.

Christmas Baking

Four dozen cookies, two pounds of candied almonds, and about ten dozen muffins, all baked in two days. The complete list:

Candied Almonds

Green Tea Cookies

Modified these into Chocolate Blackberry Cookies

Russian Tea Cookies

Carrot Cake Cookies

Blueberry Muffins

Strawberry Cinnamon Sugar Muffins

White Amaretto Muffins

Rainbow Cupcakes

Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Butterscotch Muffins (which are possibly my favorite)

Cinnamon Sugar Muffins

It took hours and would not have been possible without a lot of help, but they all came together, and I think everyone liked everything.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Halloween Coconut Ice?

I've been cooking a lot, still. Tons of muffins- I made over fifty muffins for a little trip to the Run for your Lives 5k recently. I made whole grain pumpkin and morning glory muffins, and they were pretty much destroyed. The morning glory ones almost didn't make it to the next morning, actually.

I didn't take any pictures of them, because I am both an idiot and still don't have a camera.

Then I decided I wanted to retry the failed coconut ice I made so long ago. I got a different recipe, and mmmm, I think Prehistoric Bird will agree when I say that it's good. It's terrible for you, no doubt. But it melts in your mouth, and it just tastes like delicious sugary coconut.

I'll take pictures of it later. But for now, just know: I am still slowly trying to cook through England.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Heart Attack

You wouldn't know it, but I've been baking a fair bit recently. And according to Sister Bird, making food she can't eat. Not because it's bad. Some of the food she has legitimate reasons for never wanting to eat. Like the habanero spiced potatoes. I was the only person in the family who could handle the amount of heat in them, but I didn't like them enough to write up a post about them. Making something I haven' liked enough to share has been happening a fair bit, aside from the incredible response the jam muffins got.

On an unrelated note, am I the only one who uses jam and jelly interchangeably? I know, one is chunky, one isn't, but really?

But as I was saying... I have an enormous backlog of things to post about. Two more muffin recipes, stuffed zucchini, jalapeno cheddar cornbread, chicken and cannelinni soup, hummus, sloppy joes.... I've stored up plenty of pictures and thoughts, but I'm just slow about typing them out. I liked all of those things, but I don't think any inspired me to immediately share them with the world.

This cake, on the other hand, needed someone to write a public service announcement about it.



I wanted to make it for Papa Bird for Father's Day, because I know he has a soft spot for chocolate and peanut butter, and I've currently got a soft spot for any cake that'd let me practice with my leveler. So when I looked in my crazy collection of recipes and saw Smitten Kitchen's chocolate peanut butter cake, with three glorious layers, I knew it was a match made in heaven.

After I did the nutrition information for it? It was still a great match. But it certainly wasn't made in heaven.



One of the great things about this cake is that it was a one bowl recipe. Obviously, the frosting and the ganache were done in separate bowls. But the cake batter itself was whipped up in one bowl. Which, by the way, I did without the aid of Mama Bird's Kitchen-Aid mixer. I've been slowly shifting away from using mixers, and back to beating things by hand. It's easier to fold things like delicate berries into batter without breaking them, and it's easier to ensure that every part of the ingredients have been mixed. Or maybe I'm too lazy to get the mixer out. That would be impressively lazy.



I still made the frosting in the mixer, though. Whipping butter isn't fun or easy.

The whole thing took me most of the day to make, but most of it was waiting. Make the batter, wait for the cakes to bake. Panic when the edges bake too quickly and look burnt. Fret that they're not done after half an hour, and wait even more impatiently. Pull them out and wait for them to cool. Get impatient and put them in the freezer. Level and frost the bottom layer, and shove it back in the freezer.

Go bother the neighbors because you clearly need a break from all this hard work.

Frost the other half, put it back in the freezer, make ganache. Forget to put it in a double boiler and sort of accidentally make fudge. Break the corn syrup bottle and have to make the glaze without any syrup. Then finally serve the cake.



I was so proud of it. It looked professional. Sort of. It tasted either professional or like it really wanted you to have diabetes. It was extremely rich, and just tasted like peanut butter chocolate love. Papa Bird loves those things. Home run for Father's Day, right?

Well, not exactly. He was... okay with it. He was tired and not really hungry. He complained it was too rich, too many calories, even with such a small piece. He was tired and dare I say, possibly even a bit grumpy. I was sad I was forcing him to eat a cake he didn't want. I ate an entire huge piece out of spite for everyone who complained.

But really, it is delicious. Fleur Bird loved it so much he had two pieces and asked me to make it for his wedding. Papa Bird told me last night that he loved it and was sorry to see it all gone. So if you know anyone who loves peanut butter and chocolate and want to see them struggle with an amazingly rich piece of cake.... here's your cake.

Recipe slightly modified from from Smitten Kitchen
(Makes 16 slices, with 695 calories and $0.86 per slice)
Cake

2 cups all-purpose flour

2.5 cups sugar

3/4 cup cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup canola oil

1 cup sour cream

1.5 cups water

2 tablespoons white vinegar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 eggs

1. Preheat oven to 350.
   
2. Mix together four, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.
   
3. Add oil and sour cream and mix well.
   
4. Mix in water 1/2 cup at a time, beating well.
   
5. Add in vinegar and vanilla.
   
6. Add in eggs and mix very well.
   
7. Bake for 35-40 minutes.
   

Peanut Butter Frosting

10 ounces cream cheese

4 ounces butter

5 cups powdered sugar

2/3 cup peanut butter

1. Beat cream cheese and butter together until fluffy.
   
2. Add powdered sugar, one cup at a time, beating well each time.
   
3. Add peanut butter, and mix well, being sure to scrap all parts of the bowl.
   

Chocolate-Peanut Butter Glaze

8 ounces chocolate

3 tablespoons peanut butter

1/2 cup half & half

1. In a double boiler, melt chocolate and peanut butter.
   
2. Cool, being careful to not let set.
   
3. Mix in half & half.
   
4. Pour over cake as quickly as possible.
   

Today's lessons learned:

• Cake is not always a great present.
  

Muffins for... Dessert

When I took the first bite of these muffins, I was sort of concerned. They were... sweet. Not sugary, but definitely sweet. I got worried. I had been doing such a great job at staying away from sweets (let's pretend Easter candy doesn't exist for a moment, please.), and surely these would tempt me back over to the Sweet Side.

Let's also pretend that I haven't been wanting to make homemade Pop-Tarts for a long time.

But I was over-reacting. These are cornbread muffins; even sweet cornbread isn't sugary. So I happily munched on them for a few weeks, until I made an amazing discovery.



These muffins are delicious with jam on top. Strawberry is the best, trust me. Sadly, I discovered this information too late, as there were only two muffins left. So while these may not be the greatest for breakfast, they make amazing snacks. Heck, I'd eat this as a dessert. Just warm up the jam before you put it on. Or if you're me, get up in the middle of the game you were playing with your friends, go into the other room, and pretend they don't think you're crazy for taking pictures of a muffin.

Or you could just eat them for breakfast. Whatever you want, really.

Recipe from Cooking on the Side
(Makes 18 muffins, with 142 calories and $0.14 per muffin)

1.5 cups all-purpose flour

2/3 cup sugar

1/2 cup corn meal

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1.25 cups milk

2 large eggs

1/3 cup vegetable oil

3 tablespoons melted butter

1. Preheat oven to 350.
   
2. Combine flour, sugar, cornmeal, baking powder, and salt.
   
3. Combine milk, eggs, vegetable oil, and butter in separate bowl and mix well.
   
4. Add wet ingredients to dry and stir until well blended.
   
5. Pour into muffin cups.
   
6. Bake for 18-20 minutes.
   

Today's lessons learned:

• Muffins can be eaten for dessert. Just like their cousin the cupcake.
  

Boozey Brownies

I'm, uh... a little late to be doing a St. Patrick's Day post. I know, I know. More than a little late. But I made these, they were tasty, and I'm going to share them. You can make them next year. Or if you're just feeling particularly alcoholic someday and need some chocolate.



Boyfriend Bird threw a little party on St. Patrick's day. He and his roommate grilled some burgers, and I made Sriracha Joes because I am incapable of not making food for parties these days. I promise one day I will share that recipe, because it is my favorite sloppy joe ever. I could eat them for forever. But I took no pictures of them, so that'll be for a later post.

St. Patrick's Day is possibly the only holiday that is acceptably celebrated by getting black-out drunk. I didn't celebrate it this way, but I definitely watched some people doing so. And that wasn't even at the party; I saw some very inebriated people at two in the afternoon. Four of us went into a local city for a festival we had heard of. I personally knew nothing about it; I was just told there was some Irish festival where a bunch of bars had stuff set up outside and live music. Booze and music? How could that be bad? This was the day after I got my tattoo, so I was super nervous about it being outside and ruined in the sun, and it was still red and extremely sore. But I had a green halter top, and I couldn't resist showing it off. I'm so simple-minded some days.

Sadly, the 'festival' was a huge letdown. We couldn't find anywhere to park, had to walk pretty far (although we did see a lot of cute dogs), and once we got there, we realized that there wasn't really anything outside other than lines to get into bars. There were plenty of people in green, though. So we went to the only semi-outdoor tent, where we could hear live music, but once they had verified we were of age, they told us there was a $20 cover.

We just laughed and left. We ended up eating cannoli and tiramisu from a local Italian bakery. It's technically a chain now as it has 4 locations in the city, but it's only in the city, so it still counts as local! My family used to go there every time we went to the city, so it'll always have a special place in my heart, and it was nice to get to share it with some friends who had never experienced it.

After our little trip, we went home and made these brownies, ate, and drank. And all was well. The brownies reminded me of the black bottom cake my mother used to make, only the chocolate was lighter. The taste of alcohol didn't come through for me, so if you're a fan of booze-taste, make sure you brush the whiskey on afterwards! I just dumped the whiskey in the Guinness batter as I was mixing it, because I didn't have anything to brush with and didn't want to be bothered.

Recipe from Confessions of a Cardamom Addict
(Makes 20 brownies, with 165 calories and $0.50 per serving)

3 ounces cream cheese

4 tablespoons butter

3/4 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 egg yolk

2 tablespoons Bailey's

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup Guinness

2 tablespoons cocoa

3 ounces chocolate chips

3 tablespoons and 1 teaspoon canola oil

1/2 cup brown sugar

2/3 cup and 2 tablespoon flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon Jameson

1. Preheat oven to 350.
   
2. Mix together 2 tablespoons butter and cream cheese.
   
3. Add 1/4 cup sugar and Bailey's until fluffy and delicious.
   
4. Beat in 1 egg, vanilla, and 1 tablespoon flour. Set aside.
   
5. Bring Guinness to a simmer.
   
6. Remove from heat and whisk in cocoa powder, then mix in chocolate chips to melt.
   
7. Stir in 2 tablespoons melted butter and oil.
   
8. Mix in other egg and egg yolk, then 1/2 cup sugar, brown sugar, and salt.
   
9. Sift in 2/3 cup and 1 tablespoon flour.
   
10. Mix until batter is smooth.
    
11. Mix batters together in brownie pan.
    
12. Bake for 30 minutes.
    
13. Brush the top with more whiskey if desired.
    

Today's lessons learned:

• Don't trust word of mouth.
  
• Cannoli are worth every calorie.
  

Chocolate Eggs, Chocolate Bunnies, and Popsicle Molds

What's this? Getting a holiday post up around the actual date of the holiday? How unheard of. Maybe I'll get a Cinco de Mayo post up before it's done and over with. But let's not count on that kind of planning from me.

I had a lot of big hopes for Easter this year. Mama Bird and I had three slow cookers at our disposal, and I was armed with an alarming number of recipes which may have included a few for Cadbury creme eggs knock-offs.

I love those creme eggs more than almost any other candy. Which is saying a lot, because I love mint. But those eggs... a shell of milk chocolatey goodness, covering the delicious, creamy center... oh, such fond memories of insane sugar rushes. I used to just eat the four packs in one sitting. This year, I bought myself a four pack, and have only eaten one so far, and it's been more than a week.

Sometimes I feel like a responsible adult. Then I remember I spent Easter hunting for my basket, just like I did when I was five, and realize I am going to be a child for the rest of my life. Although my parents have certainly gotten better at hiding the baskets over the years.

So despite my big hopes for cooking Easter dinner, I ended up contributing very little. I gave Mama Bird my slow cooker to use for the ham, and a scalloped potato recipe she ended up not using. I did get her to agree to have asparagus, make straw-berry spinach salad, and said I wanted to make hot cross buns. Fine, except I was away with friends all weekend, and got home around 2 on Sunday. When I walked in she had already made some egg bread dough in the bread machine, since I had told her none of my plans.

I was slightly disappointed. Because I have developed some sort of cooking compulsion to make things from scratch if I have the time and ability. I had been looking forward to being crazy and making hot cross buns completely from scratch. I whined to her about how my hopes and dreams were being systematically destroyed. Then she told me we didn't have any raisins, and I decided that the grocery store was too much work for a Sunday afternoon, and I'd have to mess with her dough until I liked it.



I am lucky Mama Bird loves me.

'Messing with the dough' involved me taking some cinnamon and some sugar, and kneading the dough until I decided I was done kneading it. I have yet to master the kneading process, and obviously have no clue how to apply flour to my hands so they aren't just... a doughy mess. Every two minutes spent kneading right meant at least 5 minutes of trying to get the dough off my hands and back to the ball. But it worked well enough, and we had a delicious lump of cinnamon-sugar smelling egg bread.



I let it rise as our family did our Easter celebration. For our family, that means the annual hunting of the Easter basket. We used to do egg hunts every year too, but since none of us seem to love the taste of hard-boiled eggs, we've slowly stopped doing that.

Sister Bird and I hid Papa Bird's basket very well. It took him all of twenty minutes to find, and we delighted in his frustration. Then when it was our turn I found Sister Bird's basket in under five minutes, and left her to keep searching while I went to pop the hot cross buns in the oven.



They came out of the oven before dinner was ready, but they had to cool they could be frosted. So we had our delicious dinner, and as Papa Bird and Mama Bird fluttered around putting away leftovers, I mixed egg whites and powdered sugar to use as frosting. I should have just used milk, because the amount of powdered sugar I would have needed to really thicken the icing was insane.

I didn't want to use it all, so I opted to not make the icing thick. So we didn't really have crosses made of icing on. Meaning we didn't really have hot cross buns.



We had warm cinnamon biscuits with icing. But they were delicious, so I'm okay with that. I am dreading making more icing to eat the rest with, though. Hopefully Papa Bird will take them away and spare me.

Mama Bird did an excellent job of listening to me ramble about all the stuff I've been wanting to buy for the last few months. I had been planning on buying some popsicle molds so I could make fresh fruit popsicles, and have a steady fruit intake over the summer. So she bought me an adorable little set! They're already sitting in the freezer with some strawberries/milk, and hopefully I'll get to sample one tonight. I've already decided I'm going to have to try to make my own pudding so I can make pudding pops. Sadly, if you search 'pudding' on Tastespotting, you get a lot of desserts, so I will have to be creative in my search, But oh, there are so many possibilities...

She also got me a mortar and pestle. That, combined with the 8 pounds of chicken sitting in my freezer, means I am going to be making something else out of the Indian slow cooking book. I'm sorely tempted to just make the vindaloo again, but I know I should try other recipes from the book. Either way, Mama Bird gets to benefit from my gifts, so she will know how grateful I am.

I have a lot of food I need to share with this blog... I've got two muffins to post, some cornbread, something from St. Patrick's Day, some cookies, some calzones... I've certainly been eating well, but I've been holding out on you. And I may even change the layout (yet again) to something with less sparkles. Either way, it looks like my kitchen adventures are only picking up speed.

Coconut Ice: a lesson learned

While I was in England, I bought some candy.



Yes, I know 'you're on a diet, why would you buy a bag of candy?'  Because it was full of coconut, colorful, and tasted delicious.  And when I came home from England, and as I ate the last piece of candy with Boyfriend Bird, I thought to myself, 'you know, this tastes just like sugar and coconut.  I wonder how hard it would be to make.'

Well, worse things have happened after asking that question, I suppose.

I hit up Google.  And went with the first recipe I found.  I'm not sure if it was the recipe, or if it was the lack of candy thermometer, but it.... did not exactly turn out well. First off, I don't think the water ever really finished 'gently melting' the sugar, and I ended up eventually saying 'well, I think it's good...'



The reason I keep mentioning the candy thermometer is that, obviously, I was lacking one. I did have Mama Bird's meat thermometer, and after looking for a while I shrugged and said that it'd do. Which it would have. If it didn't automatically switch off when it hit 200 degrees, maybe it would have been helpful. But so without a way to tell when the sugar water had hit the temperature I wanted, and a really lacking understanding of what 'when a soft ball forms' meant, I just decided at some point that it was good enough.



The mixture looked great once I had combined it all with the coconut, so I stopped worrying. It smelled great, and the little bits I stole and stuck in my mouth were delicious, and worth the minor burns I'm confident they gave me. I was a little unhappy that I didn't think to melt the vanilla in the liquid, and it ended up giving the coconut a slightly off-white color.

Then I poured it into the pan it was supposed to be firming in, and noticed a problem.



That little bottle of green food coloring is there because we didn't have red. I was just going to proclaim the coconut was wintergreen flavored and see if I could fool people, and I was chuckling to myself as I finished patting down the first layer of coconut. And when I looked back in my bowl, I realized it was the only layer of coconut. Either I made way too little, or this recipe wanted a much smaller pan, because I certainly did not have two layers.



So the experiment did not go well. It still tastes quite good, although sweeter than the original candy. It really does taste just like only coconut and sugar. I think I may try it again some time, but only after I obtain a real candy thermometer... and a different recipe. Every other one I've since looked at uses condensed milk. So at least I learned that I should look at more than one recipe before just blindly following it.

The Chewy Experiment

Today, I decided to try to make chocolate chip cookies. I wanted to make them for Boyfriend Bird, because he has finals around now and he is stressed. And cookies are good for that. So after a long decision process (mainly realizing that I had no oatmeal and couldn't make oatmeal cookies), I decided on just simple chocolate chip cookies.

And then I realized I should make Alton Brown's The Chewy, since so many people have said it is amazing. So I made the batter at my nest, and then flew on over to Jujyfruits Bird and Dot Hack Bird's apartment, where I actually baked it. And the first batch came out burned.

I was quite upset, as I hadn't burned cookies in quite some time. I turned the oven down and watched the other batches, which all came out much better. Boyfriend Bird, Jujyfruits Bird, Dot Hack Bird, and Fleur Bird all happily snacked on them. And then I packaged them up and sent them with Boyfriend Bird, who ate them sadly while studying.

Ah, college.

Rainbow Cake: my lesson in baking cakes

A few months ago, a good friend of mine moved. It wasn't a cross-country move, just an hour or so away, but far enough that seeing him for a quick lunch wasn't an option anymore. We will name him Darth Bird. He'll probably never read this, but I think he'd appreciate that name. I was worried about him moving; he's been one of my closest friends since high school, and after recently losing another close friend, I was concerned about not seeing him as often.

Luckily, Darth Bird thought ahead, and got me as well as four other birds involved in a game with him before he moved. The game is still on-going, and we aim to play every other weekend. So once a month we drive down to his apartment, and he generally cooks us something.

The first time we did, he made an amazing homemade lasagna. The only part of it that was store bought was the noodles, and it was quite awesome.

If you read the title of this post, you are probably wondering what on earth this has to do with rainbow cakes. Well, I decided to make a rainbow cake for his apartment, figuring that a cake was a perfect thing to bring to a dinner gathering, and that the directions that I found over at Omnomicon were so simple it'd be hard to mess up.

Well, I was mostly right about that. I have a lot of learning about baking to do.

I opted out of the diet version, despite being on one, because I figured no one else was. The whole 'double the batter' thing was also rather confusing, but I got it all sorted out. And dirtied a lot of bowls in the process.

Mama Bird helped, and did a lot of the color mixing. 'That's nowhere near blue enough! You need more blue! Here, let me do it!' That sounds like a pretty accurate transcript, and we had a lot of fun. We're very sarcastic to each other, but it's okay because we like each other. She is the best Mama Bird.

I took a lot of pictures of the process, because it was fun, and amusing. This was the batter before it went in the oven, but right after this is where everything went wrong.

You see, I was impatient with the cake. I needed to get it iced and ready to go. I did not give myself adequate time to prepare it. So it came out of the oven, and I tried to pull it from its little pans. One split in half, and the other just lost some off the top. Then I tried to ice it while it was still warm, and we lost more. Beyond 'we lost more,' it started completely falling apart. I got so upset I almost didn't bring the cake, until Mama Bird told me I was being an idiot and made me. It had many toothpicks stuck in it, holding it together. As I pulled the lid off the container, I was actually embarrassed, and all over again wished I hadn't brought it. The sight that greeted me was the cake, split wide open, hardly sticking on its tray. I (almost) tearfully presented it to my friends.

And did my friends care that it was falling apart?

No. They still ate most of it. Our tongues were purple for the rest of the evening. And I learned a few crucial things about baking: wait to remove your cake, wait to ice your cake, and just really, be patient. My friends also taught me that "If it tastes like cake, we are going to eat it."

It's been a few months since Darth Bird moved, and we still see each other frequently. In fact, I'm going to go see him in about twenty minutes, so I should really stop typing and go brush my hair. But it's nice to know that some friendships aren't so easily ended.

Today's lessons learned:

• My friends will probably eat anything.
  
• Food coloring definitely has a flavor.
  

The Thanksgiving Feast from the Bird's Nest

I'm a few days late on this one, but Thanksgiving was great! I tried to have two Thanksgiving dinners, one with Boyfriend Bird's mother, and one with my family. This was a mistake. No one should try to eat that much food in one day, that is for sure.

As expected, there was a lot of food. I offered to make something for dinner one, but I asked much too late, so there was nothing that needed to be made. We had green bean casserole, awesome stuffing, turkey and gravy, homemade cranberry sauce by boyfriend's grandmother, asparagus, mashed potatoes, and... oh, there was more, but I can't even remember. I had another serving of the stuffing, despite knowing about the second dinner that was awaiting me.

Oh, and then like an hour after gorging myself on food, they brought out pies. I was practically falling asleep on couch while his family played Boggle. I would have not played with them even if I had been awake, as Boyfriend Bird can get stupidly high scores. His little sister is now quite a monster at it as well, so I am afraid to try to play with them. But back to the pies.

I don't know about you, but when I think of Thanksgiving pies, I think of only two: pumpkin pie and pecan pie. I have two confessions to make about Thanksgiving pies.

I have never liked pumpkin pie, ever.

Until last year, I had never had pecan pie.

(Mama Bird always made me an apple or cherry pie for Thanksgiving. I was a spoiled little bird.)

So this year, when the pies came out, I looked at them, and had to think for a while. I knew I didn't need those pies, given that I was going to be eating in maybe another two hours. And given the whole 'on a diet' thing, too. Thanksgiving is probably the worst time to diet, isn't it? So the pumpkin pie wasn't even tempting, even with a scoop of vanilla ice cream next to it. The pecan, however, was tempting me. I had only had it once, and it had been insanely sweet. Was it always that sweet? With that weird texture? I had to test this theory.

So I had a half of a piece, and it was delicious and totally worth the calories.

Then we migrated over to my family's house, where more food awaited us. One of my aunts came over, and she made us fried.... sausage bread balls. I want the recipe, although I know I should never make those again, because they were surely terrible for me.

The first thing I did when I got home was set up my mother's slow cooker. To make mulled wine. I did not take any pictures, since the kitchen was full of work, and I didn't really want to try to explain to my aunt why I was taking pictures of a slow cooker. It was also really dark in there.

So yes, I made up a batch of Stephanie from A Year of Slow Cooking's Mulled Wine.
Sadly, I am really not a red wine fan. I go to a wine tasting after work every Friday, so I should have seen this coming. But I wanted to like it so badly I ignored that I hated the little taste of the wine I took when I was pouring it in. I even tried to have a glass with dinner, and got scolded for putting such hot liquid in a wine glass. That probably was a little foolish, I'll admit that.

But Mama Bird liked the wine, and so did Boyfriend Bird's father. He and his fiancée had a most of it, I would say. So while I was disappointed, I guess it wasn't a failure.

Second dinner did not go nearly as well for me. I had like four sausage balls before, so any hunger that had been thinking of returning to me stayed far away instead. Mama Bird made many things, that all smelled wonderful, but I just could not eat. I had a tiny amount of turkey, of mashed potatoes, a pittance of stuffing, and a dinner roll with homemade jelly. I think that was it. I just sat there and moaned about how I wanted to eat. Boyfriend Bird managed to eat, and I was proud of his efforts.

Immediately after dinner, my mother brewed some coffee. And I remembered I had promised Boyfriend Bird I would make pumpkin spiced lattes for him. Also from A Year of Slow Cooking. Only this time I didn't have 2 hours to prepare it, and I started panicking a little, until I remembered we had a stove.

And I felt rightly silly.

We didn't have espresso, either. I did not make myself any, because I dislike coffee, so although I tried it I had no real opinion. It was very well received, though. Except for the bottom fourth of Boyfriend Bird's, which was nothing but spices. I felt bad for not stirring his enough.

Then after we sat around for a few hours, Mama Bird decided it was time for dessert. I was no longer completely stuffed, so I agreed. We had two pumpkin pies- Sister Bird wanted a lot of leftovers. She was feeling well enough by then to have a small bite, but she was completely better the next day. We also had a pumpkin parfait that I made, and a cheesecake that hailed from my great-grandfather.

The cheesecake was a bit of a joke through the whole day, actually. Mama Bird had to beg the recipe from him, after he had made it every year. He very begrudgingly wrote it down for her, and when he handed it to her, he looked her in the eye and said 'You'll never make this correctly. I'm the only one who can.'

I spent most of the day reminding her of that, but in a loving way. But I will say that he was very wrong; her cheesecake was delicious. Someday I will attempt to make it as well and maybe even share the recipe.

My favorite Thanksgiving dessert is decidedly the pumpkin parfait. I used to find out where my mother had put it after making it, and then move it to a different freezer and bury it deep, so I was the only one who could find it. And I would eat the whole thing. No regrets. This year was no different, except that now I encourage others to eat it so I don't. Oh, how things change.

Pumpkin Parfait, from Mama Bird's recipe box
(Serves 9, approximately $1.12 per serving)
Ingredients

1.5 cup graham cracker crumbs

1/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup melted butter

1.5 cup pumpkin

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ginger

1/8 teaspoon cloves

1 quart softened vanilla ice cream

Directions

1. Combine sugar, graham crackers, and butter.
   
2. Press into 9" pan.
   
3. Combine pumpkin, brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves in mixing bowl.
   
4. Fold into ice cream.
   
5. Pour into pan.
   
6. Freeze until firm, and keep covered.
   

I could eat this every day of the holidays. It's not a pronounced pumpkin flavor, which I think is a big part of why I like it. I advise against trying to resist its charms.

Today's lessons learned:

• Even if pumpkin pie is gross, you probably don't hate pumpkin flavor as much as you think.
  

Apple dumplings, aka how I'm giving myself diabetes as quickly as possible

I made the apple dumplings from Pioneer Woman today. I and a group of friends went to a local Pho place for dinner, and apparently I ordered the worst thing on the menu because it was disgusting. I ate maybe a fourth of my meal before giving up and moping. So when we got back to our friend's apartment, I decided to make the apple dumplings to make up for the dinner.

I had planned on making them the previous night, when there were eight people in this apartment. But we got back from game night late, no one was really that hungry, I wasn't in the mood to cook, and it didn't happen. Tonight, there were five of us there: Boyfriend Bird, Jujyfruits Bird, .Hack Bird, and Challah Bird. I knew we had enough to make more than one serving of the dumplings, but I decided to just make them all, thinking that maybe we'd have leftovers. I was really hoping this would mean I would get to eat five of these.

I should not have wished for this.

So we made them. They smelled wonderful, Challah Bird and I kept opening the oven to sniff them. And then they were done, and we did some quick math. There were 24 dumplings, and five of us. That was almost five per person! But we decided to do four apiece, and let people fight for the extra.

I knew how rich they were. I had eaten them last weekend. And I knew I had been on a diet for a few months, and hadn't eaten anything nearly that sugary since I had started. In retrospect, there were plenty of warnings that I shouldn't eat as many of these as I did.

I ate all four of mine. Most of my friends proved they weren't as foolish as I and only ate three. As soon as I put my spoon down, I realized I felt slightly queasy. And for the rest of the night I hugged my stomach, being torn between wishing I hadn't eaten them all, and knowing that there were more sitting in the kitchen and remembering how delicious they were.

As delicious as they are, maybe I'll wait a few months before I make more.

Apple Dumplings from Pioneer Woman, modified slightly
(Serves 6, approximately $4.93 per serving)
Ingredients

2 granny smith apples

2 cans crescent rolls

12 tablespoons butter

1.5 cup white sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 cup mountain dew

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350.
   
2. Peel and core apples. Cut into 8 slices each.
   
3. Roll each apple slice in a crescent roll, and place in pan.
   
4. Melt butter, and add sugar. Barely stir.
   
5. Add vanilla, stir in slightly.
   
6. Pour mixture over apple rolls. Pour Mountain Dew around edges of pan.
   
7. Sprinkle with cinnamon.
   
8. Bake for 35-40 minutes.
   

Today's lesson learned:

• Only ever eat two apple dumplings.